“We are the experts of our own experience,” Stéphanie St-Jean tells me on a warm, early September afternoon in the corner of Happy Goat Co., on Hopewell Avenue.
We both have a tea in front of us — her matcha latte in a mug, and my orange pekoe in a travel cup. Despite it still technically being summer, she’s got on a big scarf, and I’m wearing an oversized knit sweater. Somehow, this seems fitting for the honest and warm chat we’re about to have, though I don’t know it at the time.
Stéphanie’s story came to me in the form of an invitation to her poetry open mic event, happening at Alora on Oct. 7. The event promised to be an intimate night of storytelling, highlighting the artistry that comes from healing. It had been a while since I had engaged with poetry as an art form, so I was immediately on board.
But when we sat down in that coffee shop corner, I quickly realized it was more than just that.
Stéphanie St-Jean. Photo provided.
Stéphanie shared her story of surviving narcissistic emotional abuse, two miscarriages, her family’s abandonment, a BPD diagnosis, and her current journey in co-parenting her two sons with her ex.
As she walked me through her story, even showing me transcripts and in-progress works on her laptop at times, it was clear that she had practiced being open about it.
That all made sense when she also shared all the beautiful things she’s created in the process of healing, including a Substack and podcast titled Lessons in Discernment, a survivor’s resource guide, and a children’s book titled I Am Me, and That is Worthy.
She says she found her solace in writing, a passion she’s had forever.
“Writing your experiences down validates what you went through, and you let it consume the page rather than your soul,” she explains.
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The most rewarding part of sharing her experiences online, she says, has been the community feedback. Stéphanie has appeared as a guest on several podcasts, and has had therapists, experts, and other survivors appear on her own podcast. She says each interaction has led to transformative and healing conversations.
“Just by being authentic, I am naturally repelling what isn’t for me, and making space for what is,” she writes in a blog post. “The strong network of men and women friends I’m continuously building around me is what’s needed for me to move forward, and if there’s anything you take away from reading my story, let it be this: you too can overcome whatever it is you’re struggling with. You can burn, and you can rise.”
Healing isn’t linear, nor is it meant to be a fully solitary process. Stéphanie found the support of others while sharing her own journey. Now, The Stories That Shape Us, the open-mic poetry night Stéphanie is hosting in a couple weeks, aims to connect others through their process of healing — whether it’s from abuse or from other traumatic experiences.
Stéphanie says she is most excited to connect with others at the event, and is incredibly grateful to Alora for hosting their event in such an accessible way.
Visitors can show up to share their work, or simply to listen. There are two ways to participate, which is reflected in the two kinds of tickets you can purchase: as an attendee and as a performer. The lineup will be decided based on performer ticket sales.
As we said our goodbyes, we expressed our enthusiasm for the event, and Stéphanie went back to sipping her matcha and went back to work on her next podcast episode.
The Stories That Shape Us will take place on Oct. 7 from 6-8pm at Alora Ottawa at 34 Clarence St. Tickets start at $12 and can be purchased here. Stéphanie and her team recommend buying a performer ticket if you already know you wish to speak, so they can schedule the lineup. Light tapas and beverages will be provided.
To learn more about Stéphanie’s journey and check out her work, check out her podcast, Substack, or her LinkTree.
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