Photo courtesy the DDP website.
Ottawa, this is a very important notice. It is designed to launch you into a focused Decentralized Dance Party watch-and-prepare mode. We strongly advise that you take the following set of actions immediately:
- Bump “battery-powered ghettoblaster,” and “short sleeved orange blazer” to the very top of your garage-sale hunting list.
- Bookmark the Decentralized Dance Party’s (DDP) homepage, and “like” Tom and Gary’s Dynamic Dance Party Delivery Service on Facebook. Check these sites regularly for the official Ottawa DDP arrival date, and post it below if you see it before we do.
- Assess your preferred method of mixing business with pleasure. Would you enjoy whipping a mouse around on the dance floor? Grinding with your beau on an office chair in the park? Facilitating a donut-eating contest between five drunk strangers in suits? All of these options, and more, will be available at Ottawa’s first DDP.
As you complete the actions above, you will wonder, “As much as I like garage sale guidance and mixing business with pleasure, what exactly is this DDP for which I am preparing?”
You will not be alone. Ottawa has never had a DDP, and we guarantee that it will be unlike any party you have ever experienced. Essentially, it is a mobile party powered by attendees’ ghettoblasters, which are all tuned into the same radio frequency. According to Tom and Gary, DDP masterminds and DJs:
The DDP is a portable, battery-powered Party System. It consists of hundreds of Party People, carrying boomboxes, and a DJ who wears a backpack, containing an FM transmitter.
All the boomboxes are tuned into the DJ’s master FM broadcast, resulting in a mobile, synchronized sound system. This Portable Dance Party roams the night, generating complete awesomeness, street by street and block by block, onto buses and subways, into public fountains and beyond. Inevitably interfacing with the public, together we create an infectious epidemic of fun. A Roaming Party Adventure that lasts all night long!
And the need for ugly blazers? The current DDP tour’s theme is “Strictly Business,” which means that attendees:
MUST wear Business Attire (suits, ties, cufflinks, glasses, nice shoes, sexy skirts, gel that hair, etc) and bring along as much business paraphernalia as possible (wheeled office chairs, briefcases, rolodexes, calculators, coffee machines & mugs, water coolers, filing cabinets, etc. get Creative and get Crazy). You can buy suits at Value Village and Salvation Army for like $10 so NO EXCUSES!
Enough said, Ottawa. We know you can follow directions and take care of business, and we can’t wait to see you bring a bit of cubicle to the street. Stay tuned for details!
Post by Andrea Grant, our contributor who recently moved to Calgary, attended that city’s DDP in September. She has consequently rediscovered the joys of roaming the city with a ghetto on her shoulder, surrounding by a crew of homies.
UPDATE: Ottawa’s DDP (amongst others) has been cancelled. Don’t worry folks, our events calendar is chock-a-block full of other options to keep you busy.
