Happy hump day—err, Valentine’s Day. It’s a time for lovers, friends with benefits, and nosy bloggers. So once again, we invited readers to take The Big O-Town Sex Survey, shedding light on what happens behind Ottawa’s closed doors. For the pleasure of our readers, we’re now sharing the anonymous results.
980 people participated in this year’s edition of the Apt613 sex survey. The Big O-Town Sex Survey asked a couple dozen questions to get to know the ins and outs of Ottawans’ sex lives and the city’s dating scene. The questions cover a range of topics from orientation to masturbation to kinks and props, best practises and dating apps.
Four lucky respondents are receiving $100 gift cards to Venus Envy sex shop and bookstore. Winners of the random draw will be notified by email this week.
As always, please keep in mind that no actual statistics were harmed in the making of this survey. But because some of you are statisticians and sex researchers… for the first time, Apt613 is sharing the rock-hard data for your perusal. Here’s where nerds can download the uncoded data as a CSV file. Please share your most compelling findings with @apt613 or send a message to <firstname.lastname@example.org>.
Without further ado, here are the results:
Readers of all ages completed the survey.
While most respondents (80.9%) are between 19–39 years old, we received responses in every age group from adolescents to seniors. Maybe it’s time you talk to your parents about blogs.
Most of you live in Centretown.
But a concerning number of respondents live in “Centertown”.
None of Hintonburg, Westboro, Nepean, Sandy Hill, Orleans, Vanier, Vieux-Hull or The Glebe were very far behind in popularity, which won’t surprise anyone.
The urban/suburban split is approximately 72/28.
Favourite responses: Ikeaish, Hintingburg.
We identify in all kinds of ways.
Open-ended questions about gender identity and sexual orientation received a ton of write-in responses.
While 62.6% identify as female and 33.9% identify as male, about 1 in 50 respondents answered with nonbinary (1.8%). More responses include intersex, two-spirited, agender, genderfluid, woman of transgender experience, trans man, female-ish, demi girl, femme, and “still figuring it out.”
With regards to sexual orientation we found two thirds of respondents describe themselves as straight. Here’s the breakdown:
- Straight 67.2%
- Bi or Bisexual 15.5%
- Lesbian or gay 5.9%
- Bi-curious/Tri-Sexual 4.9%
- Not sure right now 1.7%
- Queer 1.5%
- Pansexual 1.4%
- Asexual 0.4%
- Heteroflexible 0.3%
- Straight-ish 0.2%
- Mostly straight 0.1%
- Bent 0.1%
- Demi-sexual panromantic 0.1%
- Pan and ace 0.1%
Did we eff up? One respondent left a comment to say “bi-curious isn’t an orientation what the fuck u guys that’s homophobia and I’m disappointed in you.” We can make changes to future surveys and wish to sincerely apologize to anyone put off by the way we worded this question.
62.6% indicated they are in a monogamous relationship, however… about 1 in 6 monogamists told us their best sex was actually with a fuck buddy or friend with benefits.
For reference, 20.1% of all respondents said their best time was with a fuck buddy or friend with benefits, 9.1% said it was their ex and for 3.7% it was a steamy someone they met that night.
Only 3.6% indicated they are abstinent by choice.
Scratch that—masturbation rules.
How often do you masturbate? Are you among the 2.7% of respondents who masturbate more than once a day; 3% who never masturbate; or 14.7% who masturbate daily?
Perfect sex happens in your thirties.
Most of 18.4% of respondents who said they are having the “perfect amount of sex” are in their thirties. So were about half of 9.8% of respondents who, when asked, “How satisfying is your sex life?” answered, “The best ever.”
Relatively few are having what is called “enough” sex.
Though 1 in 3 respondents said they are having “almost enough sex,” close to another 1 in 3 said they are having “nowhere near enough sex.”
Of the remainder: approximately 1 in 5 claim to be having “the perfect amount of sex,” and 1 in 20 say there’s “no such thing as too much sex!” A total of eight respondents indicated they are having “too much” sex – only one of whom identifies as bisexual and in an open relationship… the other seven are predominantly straight and monogamous.
Oh yeah, and another 1 in 10 answered “Hmmm. Having what?”
Is it hot or not?
Trust me, I’m a professional.
Although 5.7% say they have engaged the services of a sex worker, only four respondents (0.4%) told us their best sex *ever* was with a professional.
Many of the 5.7% told us about BDSM fetishes and we figure that’s where some of this sex work is kicking in. That Faces Magazine awards poll should really have had a “Best Dominatrix” category, don’t you think?
3.2% of respondents have offered services as a sex worker.
Parks are for lovers.
Most respondents say they’ve had sex in public in Ottawa (42.6%) or wish they have (18%). Only 2.8% of respondents said “I would never.”
Where is all of this public sex going down? By and far, the most popular places named were parks and parking lots. There were more than 100 write-in responses to the effect of Park, Parks, A park, In a park, Various parks, so on and so forth…
Favourite responses: Gatineau Park (7); Parliament Hill (5); Carleton University (3); Rideau Centre rooftop (3); The Arboretum (3); Nordik Spa (2); Westboro Beach (2); Too many places to list (2); Golf course (2); Side of house and front lawn (2); On a dock in Barrhaven (2); SJAM Trail; On a neighbour’s lawn; On the hood of a car in my old high school’s parking lot (hey Hillcrest); Drunk sex behind Laundro Land; Bowling alley; the water treatment plant by the river; On top of a car in a Byward Market parking garage; Where wasn’t it?; In a bathroom at the cock and lion; public pool; National art gallery; Canadian Museum of History picnic bench; Bathroom of shisha place; City Hall restroom; bathroom at a bar; a couple bar bathrooms (does that count as public?); restaurant bathroom; Minglewoods; At work…
You think the two people having sex “on a dock in Barrhaven” know each other?
Who you doin’?
It seems Ottawans get around—or at least Apt613 readers do. Most survey respondents (67.6%) have had 6 or more sexual partners in their lifetime. Heck, 2.2% have had 101+ partners. Here’s the complete breakdown:
Someone here has had 50+ partners in the last year alone. Here’s how responses break down to the next Q: “In the past year, the number of partners you’ve been with is…”
Some respondents could be racking up the partners with group sex. So we asked, “Have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time?” About a third of respondents have had a threesome, foursome, or 5+ person orgy. Here’s that breakdown:
People are having one night stands.
Overwhelmingly so. About 7 in 10 respondents say they’ve had a one night stand.
Maybe Tinder has something to do with it.
1 in 4 survey respondents have an active profile on Tinder. Other popular apps include OkCupid (12%), Bumble (9.1%), Plenty of Fish (8.6%), Grindr (4%), Match (3%) and eHarmony (1.2%). Lots more appeared as write-in responses, like Ashley Madison, Fetlife, Scruff, Happn, Feeld, Growlr, Bear411, and Gay411.
64.6% of respondents say they’ve been on a date thanks to an app (mostly Tinder, PoF, OkCupid) and one respondent said, “I met my wife on Tinder!”
However, when Apt613 wanted to know “Where do you go in Ottawa if you want to pick up?” we expected to see a list of hot bars and clubs. Nevertheless, some of the most popular responses to this question were: Tinder (37); Online (28); Internet (7); Bumble (3); Grindr (2); Somewhere with wifi (1). That accounts for about 12% of respondents to this particular question.
Since you’re wondering, these are the five sexiest venues in town (and the # of times they were named in survey responses):
- The Lookout (10)
- Babylon (9)
- The Elmdale (3)
- Obsession (3)
- Parliament Hill (3)
Favourite responses: ByWard Market (47); Elgin Street (28); Home (8); House parties (4); My bedroom (2); Lansdowne (2); Toronto; Nordstrom; Tequila Jacks; Nature Nocturne…
Blind dates are still a thing.
About 1 in 4 respondents have been on a blind date. Although, nearly half of these people are 35+ years old and might not have had the luxury of creeping their date’s social media profiles ahead of time… With the advent of dating apps, we predict the number of respondents going on blind dates will trend downward in the future.
Ottawa is pretty kinky.
For starters, only 25.3% said they have “no” sexual fetishes or fantasies… that they know of. So let’s dive into some of the popular responses and remarkable write-ins.
The fetishes and fantasies named by > 1.0% of respondents are:
- Lingerie/underwear 40.3%
- Bondage 39.9%
- Submission 38.3%
- Domination 31.6%
- Role play 26.7%
- Voyeurism 20%
- Exhibitionism 20%
- Costume play 12.5%
- Breath play 11.7%
- Sadomasochism 10.9%
- Leather Gear 8.6%
- Corporal play 7.1%
- Gender play 5.5%
- Foot 3.0%
- Shoes 1.7%
More responses include: Group sex; Water; Biting; Tickling; Plastic; (Play) Torture; Weird monster shit; Too vague to describe; Ass worship; Diapers; Fart; I’ll try anything once!; I don’t know, we do what feels right; Bellystuff; Inflation; Age play; Knives, needles, and other pointy things; Blood; Branding; Ritual/Holy sexuality; Hotwifing; Cuck; Furry; DD/IG; E-stimulation; Pegging; Medical devices; Lactation; Watching my partner masturbate; Would like my partner to wear an anal plug with a tail; Yup, lots.; Too many to list here; These aren’t fetishes for me, it’s just fun sometimes…
Buy lube when it’s on sale.
The frugal among us wait for toothpaste to go on sale at 99 cents before stocking up. Apt613 would like to impart similar advice upon the 9 in 10 survey respondents who say they use lube in sexual play.
7 in 10 are using vibrators in the bedroom. 6 in 10 are using handcuffs, tethers, or something similar. Another 6 in 10 are doin’ it with dildos and another 6 in 10 have used a blindfold.
Other props respondents are using in sexual play include: Sensation gels, cream, or similar (38.8%); Costume (27.1%); Crop, flogger, paddle or similar (25.8%); Hot wax or similar (19.2%); Medical equipment (4.4%), as well as a couple dozen write-in responses mentioning butt plugs, cock rings, nipple clamps, a Wartenburg Wheel, electric wands, electrodes, leashes, mouth gags, power toys, strap-ons, ice, food, cameras, sex swings…
Shouldn’t you at least buy me dinner first?
Alright, some of you are cruising hard and that’s sick. But other readers are sitting here, on Valentine’s Day, wondering how the hell everyone else is having orgies when they can’t even get a date. These next few Qs cover dating: blind dates, first dates, apps, and more.
We already know Ottawa-Gatineau is the most educated metropolitan area in Canada, considering 38.2% of adults here have a post-secondary degree. It also happens that Ottawa’s population is mostly female. So it’s thought educated women outnumber eligible men, making Ottawa’s dating pool relatively shallow if you’re a single hetero woman.
Perhaps it comes as no surprise that the results of Apt613’s survey show a tight split when respondents were asked, “is Ottawa a good city to be single?”
Every teenager who answered the survey said “No” or “Don’t know”.
Most people (56.6%) who answered “Yes” are 30+ years old.
58.8% of respondents who said “Yes” identify as female (i.e. Ottawa is a good place to be single).
70.1% of respondents who said “No” identify as female (i.e. Ottawa is not a good place to be single).
Age isn’t a dealbreaker.
First we wanted to know, “How much older a person you would ask out?”
And followed that up with, “How much younger a person would you ask out?
First impressions are everything.
This doesn’t surprise anyone. However, those of you planning a first date will be thinking nervously about where you suggest to meet up and what you can do to impress your date. We have you covered.
As it turns out, most respondents want to go out for a casual drink (48%) or a coffeeshop (23.7%). Dinner at a restaurant did not rate so highly as you might have guessed (8.9%) and about the same number of people said going for a walk would be nice (9%). Few respondents said seeing a movie is a good first date (1.2%).
What’s the best thing you can do to impress your date? With 72.1%, the overwhelming response is “Be curious about me.”
Favourite responses: Smell nice; Show up; Pay for everything; Have sex with me; Be a feminist; Don’t be annoying; Take me some place I’ve never been; Be nice to the server; Sound like they have their shit together; Have a good vocabulary; Be chill…
And the five best topics to discuss on a first date are:
- Travel 25.3%
- Your job or studies 19.9%
- Current events 14.7%
- TV/Movies 10.7%
- Music 9.6%
Favourite responses: What you do for fun; Passions; Hobbies; Favourite books; Coming out story; The suffering of existence; slugs…
The most common mistake made on a date is…
We wish there were only one. But the pie chart on this one has several large slices. The most significant responses were:
- Talking about yourself too much 27.4%
- Talking about exes 22.8%
- Trying too hard 21.8%
- Being too forward 12.0%
- Being cheap 6.4%
- Dressing poorly 4.7%
Favourite responses: Being boring; Short answers; Looking around; Looking at your phone; One sidedness; Sexism; Homophobia; Transphobia; Being fake; Being apathetic; Saying racist stuff; Kitty fishing; Being smelly; Being an asshole…
If you wanna be my lover…
Finally, we asked survey participants to let us know what is the “biggest dealbreaker for getting into a relationship with you?” There are some pretty funny answers in here, so let’s just get the most common responses out of the way:
- No sense of humour 23.5%
- Intelligence or lack thereof 23.3%
- No common interests 17.2%
- Bad odour 13.7%
- Bad kissing 4.1%
Favourite responses: Conservative voter; Politically conservative; Shitty politics; Smoking; Eating habits; Being a dick; Insecurities; Jealousy; Sexism; Racism; Homophobia; Lack of independence; Not being a feminist; If he’s not a feminist, I’m out; If they’re not a feminist or don’t like rap; Transphobia and other bullshit; Being clingy; Right wind bigotry; Already married; Pushy or bad boundaries; Lack of motivation; I get bored; Messy room; Narcissism; I’m 40, I have baggage; Not woke…
Ottawa is getting sexier.
A majority of you said Ottawa wasn’t a sexy city in 2014, the last time we conducted The Big O-Town Sex survey. Have we managed to get a little sexier in the past 4 years?
Thanks to everyone who dished the dirty. With just shy of 1,000 respondents, this has been the most popular edition since The Big O-Town Sex Survey launched in 2011. We’ve elected to make the anonymous data available as a free download for the statisticians and sex researchers out there. Here’s where you can download the raw data as a CSV file.