For the third year in a row we asked to you bare all in the name of pseudo science for the pleasure of your fellow citizens. Although you were slightly less forthcoming – 479 of you took this year’s survey, down from 716 the year before – there’s still enough juicy details to make for tantalizing reading. So to celebrate the season of love and lust, we’re dishing all the dirty details.
As always, please keep in mind that no actual statistics were harmed in the making of this survey. In fact, if this survey came across as a real scientific survey while walking down the street, the scientific survey would probably feel compelled to beat our survey up then put it out of its misery.
Is Ottawa an unsexy city…
We asked if you would describe Ottawa as a sexy city, and 67 per cent of you said no! As one respondent put it “not on the surface. And sometimes not underneath either. But if you look hard enough there is a strange, quiet sexiness here.” While Ottawa is “not sexy in a Montreal way”, the city can be sexy “behind closed doors, or in front of the right ones”. However, more than one of you noted the “sexy little undercurrents” running through town, perhaps “it’s all perspective, anywhere can be sexy, it’s only as good as you think it is.”
…or are we just sneaky about it?
When we asked you about your sexual situation, one in five this year indicated that they were non-monogamous, up from 14 per cent in 2011. In completely unrelated news, AshleyMadison.com, the infamous site known for helping cheaters cheat, revealed that the capital raked up more new sign-ups in 2012 than any other city in the country. In more unrelated news, 68 per cent of you indicated that you have had one night stands.
About 17 per cent of respondents were abstinent by circumstance, not including the lucky person who indicated that they were “in a relationship with a vibrator”.
Sweet, but not so innocent, seventeen
The average number of sexual partners people reported was 17. Of course, we left it to you to define “sexual partner” so this could mean anything from holding hands to sex swinging from the ceiling dressed as Eartha Kit. Reported numbers of partners ranged from the awe-inspiring 336 to the very precise 23.5 (exactly what is half a sex partner?). Thirty two per cent reported having had sex with two or more partners at the same time.
The glass is half full, or half empty, in terms of our levels of sexual satisfaction
Thirty six per cent of you indicated that that although there is room for improvement, you’re pretty happy with your sex life all things considered. Add the ten percent who see space and time every time you hit the sack, and we come up to almost half of respondents who are having a good time. What about those less lucky souls who need some spice? When asked to elaborate the most common complaint was that it was a variation on “hot when I have sex, but I don’t often enough as I’m single.” Not all is bad news, since as one responder commented there’s always the option of going solo:
“No I’m not having sex with anyone else right now, but the masturbating is still pretty good.”
Speaking of self-love, about 51 per cent of respondents reported masturbating more than once a week, with another 18 per cent of you going into manual override at least once a day. Five people reported never masturbating at all.
Ottawa’s top ten kinks: bring on the submissively bound sexpots in their underwear
We asked whether or not you had any kinks or fetishes, and asked to choose any that applied from a list, and compared your results to what you told us in 2012. Not much has changed at the top over the past two years; lingerie, submission and bondage kept the top three spots. However voyeurism dropped from fourth to sixth place, edged out by domination. It is interesting that in a town known for its power players, submission is a more common turn on than domination! Things that we should perhaps put on the list next year include yoga pants, latex, cock worship and pyjamas.
The best place for love, lust and everything in between
Ottawa’s waterways were a clear winner in the romance department. When asked for Ottawa’s most romantic spot, the canal was the most often cited, followed by the Alexandra Bridge (particularly at night), Nepean Point, Champlain Point, as well as that beautiful spot right behind Parliament that was once knows as the lover’s walk. One person suggested Fletcher’s Bird Garden, which I didn’t even know existed.
If you are just looking to hook up, Babylon or Zaphod’s seem to be your best bet. According to respondents you either want to head to the market or avoid, depending on what you are looking for. One person suggested the whole neighbourhood of Vanier if you want to cast a particularly wide net.
For intimate drinks the Moonroom in Little Italy was a common pick, as was Oz on Elgin Street. There was no clear consensus on where to take a first date; perhaps too many factors play into that decision. Some of the suggestions are listed below:
- Go for a walk around the Hill/locks/ Market and get a gelato or some candy at Sugar Mountain
- Simply Biscotti for dessert/coffee
- The MANX! Of course. And if it’s full, cross the street to Oz… Then end up at the Pump because you didn’t plan ahead.
- See, you have to cater to who you’re taking- but my personal favourite is Zazaza if they’re a foodie and don’t know about it.
- Whispering wall on Parliament Hill
- Cupcakes and a stroll down Bank St
- The arboretum, get drunk and sit ontop of that crazy little cherry tree at night time 🙂
- Beats and Boards (Raw Sugar Cafe)
- Midnight viewing of The Clock at the National Gallery
- Bubble tea on Somerset
- Go to a show at Raw Sugar or Pressed 🙂
- Depends on the lady. Trailer Park Bingo at Zaphod’s if she’s wacky. Mellow’s for dinner if she’s hip. Black Tomato if she’s not.
- Tea at the tea party!
Ottawa’s sexiest place… In Centretown during the Pride Parade
“Centretown!!!!!!!!!!!! Obviously! And a bit of Chinatown… Sorry Glebe. Vanier can be the most adventurous?”
The usual suspects like the Market, Sandy Hill, Elgin Street, Hintonburg and the Glebe also got a lot of shoutouts, although not always for the obvious reasons.
“The Glebe. Something about being surrounded by people that uptight makes me think of my parents and it makes me feel rebellious, sexy, and far too turned on.”
The arboretum also got a few mentions, due to the large number of trees…
We also asked you about the city’s sexiest party, asking you to choose your favourites from a list. Capital Pride was voted Ottawa’s sexiest party, taking the top spot from Canada Day.