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Let’s learn about sex, baby!

By Hollie James on April 4, 2015


We all love getting it on. And it’s made even better by the fact that we can talk about it openly and honestly, sharing what works well for us, and that time it didn’t work out so perfectly. As a liberal-minded woman I’m quite open to experimenting sexually (with my monogamous companion of course), and as a freelance writer I’m passionate about immersing myself in unique and sometimes controversial worlds and sharing my story.

With that in mind I made my way to Venus Envy, well known as the place to go for information or advice on sex and relationships. My main man (Jeff) and I were attending one of their workshops titled The Big O for Her! Tips and Tricks for Bigger, Better and More Frequent Orgasms” As a woman, I was convinced that orgasms would always amount to a singular experience, not realizing the sheer variation involved and the capacity for g-spot and multiple orgasms. Here are some interesting and important considerations sure to spice things up.


I’ve heard of kegels in passing but never really took enough interest to research the subject more thoroughly. Although I totally should have because the kegel muscles can most definitely influence an orgasm. They contract rhythmically during the process, so the stronger the muscles, the stronger the physical pulsing sensation. To find these muscles, see if you can stop the flow of pee mid-way, or visualize what it would be like if you had a tail, and try and pull it between your legs. You’ll know what I’m talking about. You can then exercise them by quickly tightening the muscles as hard as you can, holding for 3-5 seconds and then relaxing. But that’s not the only way to practice – what I absolutely love are the products called ben-wa balls. They come in a variety of sizes and weights (start small and light), and you basically stick them up there, holding them in by using the contraction of the kegel muscles, thereby strengthening these muscles even further. Maybe I can put Kegel balls on my next Christmas list?

The G-Spot

I’ve never been totally convinced that this enigma even exists, but according to the workshop facilitator and many others, it most certainly does. A quick anatomical lesson: the G-spot is an area of erectile tissue surrounding the urethra. It’s a complex network of nerve endings and ducts that swell when you are aroused. It can be felt through the anterior vaginal wall (towards your belly), and although we learned that many women have only clitoral orgasms (fewf – because that’s me), g-spot stimulation can lead to more intense orgasms, multiple orgasms (though for only 13% of women), or ejaculation. While I’m looking forward to experimenting in this area, I’m going in with no expectations, so there’s no disappointment.

Anal Pleasure

Some people ask or wonder: why? Well, apparently it feels good. The anus is second only to the clit or penis in terms of sensitivity. While I don’t mind going there, we firstly must lube lube lube it up. Neither the anus nor the rectum produce natural lubrication, so using a good thick lube will prevent wear, tear, and pain. There are loads of anal toys, but I’m particularly drawn to the anal beads. They’re perfect for those who enjoy the feeling of the sphincters opening to allow an object in, over and over again (I have no idea if this is me – experiment experiment experiment!). What really intrigues me though, is that they can also prolong orgasm when you remove them, if your timing is right.

This workshop literally opened up a whole new world for us as we sat at the back of the store and listened, among the stimulating setting of toys, whips, bondage gear, books, and erotic artwork adorning the walls. The workshop facilitator explained everything so naturally (so no weirdness or awkwardness whatsoever), with much hands-on examination of various products that were passed around.

When you’ve been dating someone for a while you might get into habits and routines, and things in the bedroom become generally similar time and again. With both Jeff and I being open to new experiences and worldliness, we soaked up everything we could so that as we were ushered out with pamphlets, we were already anticipating a variety of ways to further enhance our intimate moments.

Venus Envy is located at 226 Bank Street. Click here for a schedule of their upcoming workshops.